I'm mother to a Laura who was fed cow formula by a well-meaning midwife. My baby was only four days old. Within hours Laura was covered in eczema. I'd made it clear my baby was to receive only my milk because of our family history of allergies but I was 21 years old and it was 1988 so nobody took me seriously.
I had to be weaned at six weeks old because I 'failed to thrive' on formula. This was 1966. Allergies 'didn't exist' then. I was a fussy crying baby who just about tolerated boiled goats milk until I didn't and had to be fed a watered down pablum. Milk, yogurt and cream still upset my stomach badly although I break down and eat ice cream, suffering the consequences. My daughter cannot eat dairy to this day.
Over the last ten years I've gone on to develop allergies to bee and wasp stings ( anaphylaxis), and some kinds of fish ( itchy mouth, vomming). It's been an 'interesting' experience because it took me a year to be taken seriously re my fish reaction despite swelling up like a bloody puffer fish after eating some. This is why I cried on an Easyjet flight when the crew made a tannoy announcement to say they had a toddler on board with severe allergies and could everyone not eat food unless it had been supplied by the flight attendants. Not one person complained. For once, humans didn't disappoint me.
This was beautiful, and painful, to read! And also made me check my own irritated privileged bias when I get notifications about nut butters not being allowed at camp / school, because I have PICKY children who only eat a few "mains" but that is a far, far less troublesome venture than allergens. I'm so sorry you've ALL been through this!
Oh I read this and I just felt it all. Laura, my children also have allergies. Egg and milk. My eldest is now 12 and no signs of growing out of it. The confusion. The lack of understanding. The anxiety. And then the Janets. Thank goodness for the Janets. This article was sent to me by my cousin, who really gets it. The people who take you seriously are magic. Who learn and support. The allergy allies.
Brilliant writing. Brought back my consultant’s insistence in the face of overwhelming evidence (17 years ago) that my daughter couldn’t have reflux despite her throwing up everything she was breast fed and shrinking before my eyes. An attempted holiday with three much older mothers (my Janets) was a life line as at last other sensible mothers could all say yep that’s not normal and it’s nothing you’re doing wrong. But was so so exhausting. (She’s now a strapping mainly healthy young woman whose still unpredictable allergies are irritating but not life threatening) thank you
This was my nightmare with having our son. I cannot imagine the day to day horror of this in addition to everything else that comes with parenting. Thanks for sharing and I hope it’s become more manageable.
A friend of mine - also a Laura - was treated so badly by her GP, with her baby who was allergic, it turned out, to dairy, soya, peas, legumes and wheat - that she received a formal letter of apology for all the gaslighting.
I'm mother to a Laura who was fed cow formula by a well-meaning midwife. My baby was only four days old. Within hours Laura was covered in eczema. I'd made it clear my baby was to receive only my milk because of our family history of allergies but I was 21 years old and it was 1988 so nobody took me seriously.
I had to be weaned at six weeks old because I 'failed to thrive' on formula. This was 1966. Allergies 'didn't exist' then. I was a fussy crying baby who just about tolerated boiled goats milk until I didn't and had to be fed a watered down pablum. Milk, yogurt and cream still upset my stomach badly although I break down and eat ice cream, suffering the consequences. My daughter cannot eat dairy to this day.
Over the last ten years I've gone on to develop allergies to bee and wasp stings ( anaphylaxis), and some kinds of fish ( itchy mouth, vomming). It's been an 'interesting' experience because it took me a year to be taken seriously re my fish reaction despite swelling up like a bloody puffer fish after eating some. This is why I cried on an Easyjet flight when the crew made a tannoy announcement to say they had a toddler on board with severe allergies and could everyone not eat food unless it had been supplied by the flight attendants. Not one person complained. For once, humans didn't disappoint me.
Lots of love to you x
Everyone needs a Janet.
Agree
This is so beautifully written - thank you for publishing it.
This was beautiful, and painful, to read! And also made me check my own irritated privileged bias when I get notifications about nut butters not being allowed at camp / school, because I have PICKY children who only eat a few "mains" but that is a far, far less troublesome venture than allergens. I'm so sorry you've ALL been through this!
Thanks for reading, Kira. I also get annoyed by those notifications. xxx
Oh I read this and I just felt it all. Laura, my children also have allergies. Egg and milk. My eldest is now 12 and no signs of growing out of it. The confusion. The lack of understanding. The anxiety. And then the Janets. Thank goodness for the Janets. This article was sent to me by my cousin, who really gets it. The people who take you seriously are magic. Who learn and support. The allergy allies.
Thanks for reading xx
Brilliant writing. Brought back my consultant’s insistence in the face of overwhelming evidence (17 years ago) that my daughter couldn’t have reflux despite her throwing up everything she was breast fed and shrinking before my eyes. An attempted holiday with three much older mothers (my Janets) was a life line as at last other sensible mothers could all say yep that’s not normal and it’s nothing you’re doing wrong. But was so so exhausting. (She’s now a strapping mainly healthy young woman whose still unpredictable allergies are irritating but not life threatening) thank you
Argh, thank you so much for sharing this xx
This was my nightmare with having our son. I cannot imagine the day to day horror of this in addition to everything else that comes with parenting. Thanks for sharing and I hope it’s become more manageable.
Thank you Liam! x
So good. My toddler has a bunch of allergies, some quite severe. Every paragraph here resonates. Thanks.
Glad / sad it resonates xx
Beautifully written and very eye opening.
Sitting here with tears of recognition in my eyes, really echoed what I have felt
Brilliant writing as ever Laura. From cooking carbs to catering for kids with allergies, you capture all of the details and nuances so well.
Really really good
Very very good. You have articulated all of this frustration so well.
🩷
A friend of mine - also a Laura - was treated so badly by her GP, with her baby who was allergic, it turned out, to dairy, soya, peas, legumes and wheat - that she received a formal letter of apology for all the gaslighting.